WELCOME TO THE WEBSITE OF DAVID TRENT, PHENOMENON.
  • A NEW DI BOX FOR DAVY

    HI EVERYONE.

    I GOT A NEW DI BOX. I NO LONGER NEED TWO XLR CABLES I ONLY NEED ONE.

    MOST PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHEN I TELL THEM BUT I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD ALL UNDERSTAND. THAT IS WHY I LOVE YOU.

    ALSO, ME AND JIMMY TWO SHOES AKA TWO TWO AKA THE NAIL AKA WOTCHA AKA COKEY GUV GUV HAD A RADIO SHOW BROADCAST ON XFM.

    WHERE IS IT? HERE IT IS: (SORRY IF YOU ARE SCARED BY THE PICTURE, IT IS NOT PLUG FROM THE BASH STREETS, IT IS ACASTY)

     

    James Acaster and David Trent (26 January 2014) by Xfm Radio on Mixcloud

    IN ADDITION TO ALL THIS I HAVE UPDATED ALL MY GIGS FOR MARCH AND APRIL.

    SO>>>MANY>>>OPPORTUNITIES>>>EVERYONE.

     

  • SOHO

    HELLO EVERYBODY.

     

    HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING? I'M FINE. I GAVE UP DAIRY TODAY TO TRY TO FIX MY ECZEMA. IS CHOCOLATE DAIRY? IF SO I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP AT ALL SUCCESSFULLY.

     

    FROM TOMORROW NIGHT UNTIL SATURDAY NIGHT I WILL BE AT THE SOHO THEATRE DOING MY SHOW

    DAVID TRENT: THIS IS ALL I HAVE

     

    HERE IS A REVIEW OF IT FROM THE WEBSITE CHORTLE. THEY REALLY LIKED IT. CHECK OUT THE TOTALLY COOL COMMENT UNDERNEATH IT TOO.

    HERE IS A REVIEW OF IT FROM THE BRUCE DESSAU OF THE EVENING STANDARD'S WEBSITE. HE REALLY LIKED IT.

    HERE IS A REVIEW OF IT FROM THE GUARDIAN. THEY DIDN'T LIKE IT SO MUCH BUT THEY THOUGHT IT WAS OK.

    HERE IS A MENTION OF IT FROM THE TELEGRAPH. THEY CALLED IT ONE OF THE WORST COMEDY SHOWS OF 2013.

     

    THE GUARDIAN ALSO PRINTED THIS ON SATURDAY TO WHET YOUR WHISTLES. GO AND SEE SEANN'S SHOW TOO. HE IS GOOD.

    AND I WROTE THIS.

     

     

    HERE IS RANCID PLAYING RUBY SOHO. BECAUSE SOHO IS IN SOHO.

    AND HERE IS THE BAND SOHO AND THEIR VIDEO FOR HIPPYCHICK.

     

     

    I SAW SOHO SUPPORT JESUS JONES AT THE HEXAGON IN SHEFFIELD ON FEBRUARY 23RD 1991. IT WAS OK. SOHO HAS THE SAME NAME AS SOHO.

    OH ALSO, IF YOU ARE VISITING THIS ON AN IPAD AND A PHOTO COMES UP TELLING YOU TO GO FUCK YOURSELF, REALLY SORRY. THE KONAMI CODING HAS GONE WRONG.

    I THOUGHT I'D TELL YOU LOT RATHER THAN MY WEB ADMIN WHO APPEARS TO BE SO ASHAMED OF THIS WEBSITE THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN LIST IT ON HIS PORTFOLIO.

     

  • DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK

    I AM DOING SOME GIGS TO CELEBRATE GETTING DISCHARGED FROM CLINIC 12 AT ADDENBROOKES.

    LET US CELEBRATE.

    THIS ONE IS IN PUTNEY ON SUNDAY. AT THIS ONE I WILL BE DOING NEW MATERIAL.

    THEN THERE IS THIS ONE IN KINGS CROSS ON MONDAY. AT THIS ONE I WILL BE DOING NEW MATERIAL.

    THEN THERE IS THIS ONE IN CAMDEN ON WEDNESDAY. AT THIS ONE I WILL BE GOING ON LAST AND DOING MY A GAME.

    THEN THERE IS THIS ONE IN GRANTHAM ON THURSDAY. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE GRANTHAM IS.

    FINALLY THERE IS THIS ONE IN BRIGHTON ON SATURDAY. I WILL BE PERFORMING MY SMASH HIT EDINBURGH SHOW "THIS IS ALL I HAVE"

    TODAY'S DATE IS 22/11/2013 SO IF YOU ARE READING THIS IN THE FUTURE, BAD LUCK, YOU MISSED IT.

  • A GREAT SUCCESS

    GREAT NEWS EVERYBODY

    THE NUMBER 8 SEARCH TERM FROM WHICH THIS WEBSITE IS ACCESSED IS "bruce foxton school toilets."

    THIS HAS ALL BEEN WORTH IT.

  • AN INTERVIEW

    HI EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE

    Sara Shulman at COMEDY BLOGEDY interviewed me and it was a lot of fun.

    Go and have a look at her website. There's loads of fine interviews up there, especially THIS ONE.


    P.S. If it is still the 31st and you are in Edinburgh, go and see NISH KUMAR tonight. HE COULD DO WITH SOME BODIES IN THE ROOM. Plus, no matter how much he is wrong about the muscle, he has been working that muscle like a mofo and it is pretty strong.

    HE>>>DID>>>IT.

    (THEN COME AND SEE DAVID TRENT:THIS IS ALL I HAVE AT THE JACK DOME AT 10.45 PM)

  • EDINBURGH

    HI EVERYONE ON EARTH.

     

    DAVID TRENT: THIS IS ALL I HAVE

     

    STARTS>>>TODAY>>>

  • CARDIFF>TOMORROW NIGHT>

    HELLO CARDIFF.I WILL BE IN ALL OF THESE FISH AND CHIP SHOPS TOMORROW.

    I WILL ALSO BE HERE.

    It's going to be partly cloudy. What greater incentive could there be?

  • MY TV SHOW

    Heavy Entertainment

     

    HEY, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, GREAT NEWS IS UPON IS...

    My new TV show "DAVID TRENT'S NICK HELM'S HEAVY ENTERTAINMENT" is now out and available to watch here.

    Unfortunately there's quite a bit of THIS PRICK in it, but try to overlook him and concentrate on the background...

  • LET US BURY IT DEEP...

    HELLO NORTHAMPTON. HOW ARE YOU? LAST TIME WE MET I WAS IN A VERY BAD MOOD. IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION I ENDED UP IN HOSPITAL THE MONDAY AFTER. I WAS VERY ILL.

    LET'S BURY THE OLD HATCHET ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT THE LABOUR CLUB SHALL WE? I'LL DO A PREVIEW OF THIS IS ALL I HAVE AND YOU CAN ALL SAY "HE LOOKS A LOT HAPPIER THAN WHEN WE LAST MET UP..."

    SOME DETAILS? TRY HERE

  • LOOK OUT THERE'S A MONSTER COMING

    EVERYONE IN MANCHESTER - GET READY TO MOP UP THE STREETS - I WILL BE ARRIVING THERE TOMORROW.

    I am doing 20 minutes at a club GROUP THERAPY COMEDY in a venue called GORILLA in a city called MANCHESTER.

    You can get your tickets here.

    Here is a great story about a chimpanzee.

  • TOO>GOOD>TO>BE>TRUE>>>>

    HELLO EVERYONE.

    I am previewing DAVID TRENT: THIS IS ALL I HAVE again on TUESDAY NIGHT at LEICESTER SQUARE THEATRE.

    It's going to be a lot of fun. Not just me though, the king of garden landscaping JAMES ACASTER will also be previewing his brilliant new show LAWNMOWER. I saw it last Thursday and it was GREAT.

    Show starts at 8.30 and costs FIVE POUNDS - FIVE POUNDS for both shows? 

    YES. FIVE POUNDS FOR BOTH SHOWS. SPOILING YOU.

  • SATURDAY RIGHT

    HELLO THE ENTIRE WORLD.

    I'm previewing DAVID TRENT:THIS IS ALL I HAVE at the Islington Pleasance at 9.15 on Saturday.

    THAT SOUNDS GREAT. HOW DO I GET TICKETS OR MORE INFO DAVID?

    Calm down the world, just click here.

  • WELCOME THE INTERNET. YOU ARE NOW COMPLETE.

    HELLO EVERYONE. WELCOME TO THIS.

    TONIGHT...I am gigging at the White Horse Theatre in HASTINGS with THIS PRICK.

    Why not come? Tickets are available here.

    The gig is called BACK IN THE ROOM which is also the name of the new album by ex-jam bass player BRUCE FOXTON.

    If, like me, you are a big fan of BRUCE FOXTON and have wanted to read a story of BRUCE FOXTON being ORALLY PLEASURED in a schoolroom toilet, let me also recommend STARLUST by Fred and Judy Vermorel in which you can read such a story, as well as many stories written by fans of BARRY MANILOW about having sex on a cruise ship with BARRY MANILOW. Great book. Like peering into the darkest sex recesses of the brain of the comedy man NATHANIEL METCALFE if he were obsessed with BARRY MANILOW and DAVID BOWIE.

    So, EXACTLY like peering into the darkest sex recesses of the brain of the comedy man NATHANIEL METCALFE.

  • TRENTCASTER
    28th of June sees David Trent and James Acaster preview their Edinburgh Shows at the Leicester Square Theatre.

    Having failed to sell more than 5 tickets for any of their previous shows, these two, really great, award nominated men urge you strongly to attend this gig as

    A) IT WILL BE EPIC and
    B) IT WILL BE FUNNY and
    C) IT COSTS US A LOT TO PULL IT WHEN NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE SHOW UP.
    Only joking. Loads of people always come down to it, because it's fantastic.
  • DAVID TRENT: THIS IS ALL I HAVE is David Trent's second ever Edinburgh show.
    David Trent returns to Edinburgh with his computer, projector and accessories in crates and his screen by his side.
    Nightly he will take the computer and projector and accessories out of the crates, place them onto the crates, connect them together and project images both moving and still onto the screen which will be placed approximately three feet in front of the projector.

    David Trent returns to Edinburgh with his computer, projector and accessories in crates and his screen by his side.

    Nightly he will take the computer and projector and accessories out of the crates, place them onto the crates, connect them together and project images both moving and still onto the screen which will be placed approximately three feet in front of the projector.

    In addition to this he will direct inject the sound from the computer into the Public Address system of the venue.

    He will speak in between the images and sounds to create laughter.

    This is 2013. This is Comedy. THIS IS ALL HE HAS.

    Following on from his total sell-out show 'Spontaneous Comedian' in 2012, which was nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Best Award Newcomer Award and for the Chortle Breakthrough act award, this year's show promises to be full of the same brilliantly dark observations from Trent.

    Not exactly the same observations.
    That would be last years show.
    Similarly dark. Different observations.

    Up until December 2012, David Trent juggled full time primary school teaching with comedy.
    He no longer teaches.

    The show consists of 11 high quality routines* to be performed in the following order:
    Opening Sequence (1 Slide)
    Expectation (8 Slides),
    Concerns (15 slides),
    Learning Objective (16 slides),
    I'm Here (44 slides),
    Are You Sure (16 slides),
    Silk N Shine (13 slides),
    The Look (5 slides),
    Ill Communication (15 slides),
    Capsicum (5 slides),
    Thanks Very Much (1 slide)

    PREPARE. YOURSELVES.










    *information correct at 15/03/2013 - routines liable to change
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